Midi-Chlorian - a stupid explanation

While working at my desk today, I decide to take a quick facebook break and stretch my sore muscles. I read the following status update from Nicole, one of my supervisors.
Just learned from a student that a non-contact force could be the Star Wars Force. Hadn't thought of that before!
To which Joe replied:
yes but aren't metachlorians physical things?

To which Nicole replied:

ummm...what?

To which I replied:

I agree with Joe. Metachlorians make up the force therefore it is a contact force.

After the program, Nicole came to ask us what exactly midi-chlorian's were.

Me: Something made up by George Lucas as a horrible retcon.
Joe: Part of the three inadequate prequels to the original Star Wars trilogy.
We then tag team in giving a very brief description of midi-chlorian's that I won't bore you with. Suffice to say Nicole looks more confused than when we began.
Nicole: How do you know that?
Me: Well....because we're nerds..

We then move on to other topics but later I butt in with,
"But actually wouldn't the force still be a non-contact force? Because yes, the midi-chlorian's control the force, but they are in your blood and give you the power to use the force. So it could still be considered a non-contact force."

Ever later when we are eating lunch and Joe and I are trolling through our everyday sites we come upon today's Teefury shirt, which says, 'Han shot first'.
Joe: How appropriate. But didn't Greedo shoot first?
No worries I already put him out of his misery.

Even later we are still harping on the first three movies and I show Joe the following video.

EVEN LATER! We are prepping for a show and have a school with two different classes participating in one session. We are coming up with ideas of what to call the two different classes.

These include:

Alpha and Beta

Venture Bros and the Guild of Calamitous Intent

Jedi and Sith Lord

Giraffes and Panda

and my personal favorite

Seperatists and The Galactic Republic