Marriage - what brings us together today

"It's alive! IT'S ALLLLIIIIIIIIVVVEEEE!" Said as I plug my shiny new computer cord in and see that beautiful blue power light come on.

I am, once more, connected to the world.

It's odd, being without something one is so used to. I saw so many funny things over those two days, gone from memory now since I didn't have anything to type on and am too lazy to actually write anything out with my hands. I've always been poor at writing out anything, my brain moves too fast and my hands can't keep up. Or I write down something I'm hearing in place of what I'm actually thinking. That last thing it partially my own fault because I'm always under this impression that a much more interesting conversation is occurring nearby me. I could be talking face to face with Nick and really tuning into a discussion happening at the next table, maybe they have an interesting story. Maybe I could chime in...

Who are we kidding, I would die before actually engaging. I'm just a busybody.

One issue with this is that whenever too many people begin talking at once, I have a mini panic attack. I don't know where to focus my energy and even if one of these loud voices is directed at me I can't make it out. I don't do well in bars because of this. I wonder if this is because I am antisocial or if I'm antisocial because of this.

Recently I've also started to realize I can't read signals to save my life. In the not so distant past a friend informed me a boy was crushing on me pretty hard for about a year. My initial response was one of the WHAT!? variety. I had no clue. We had done plays together and became friends. Not good friends. More of, "Hey we have the same major. Let's chat together at parties." After my vehement denial of this apparent fact the friend gave several instances where this crush made himself known. I remember one of them very well.

I was in the green room, full of people, prepping for a show. I had my dinner ready for me, some various snacks I had stolen from the trunk of my car where I used to keep my food and a PB&J sandwich I had made the night before. This boy sits on the couches across the room and starts chatting with someone else, bemoaning the fact that he didn't have time to grab dinner for that night. For some reason Theatre kids are terrible at eating food on a regular schedule. I offer him my sandwich which he happily accepts.

"Wow. This is pretty good actually." He pauses, examining the sandwich, "Did you put peanut butter on both slices of bread?"
"Yeah. It keeps the jelly from making the bread all soggy."
"That's...ingenious. Well thank you for giving up part of your dinner. You didn't have to do that."
"Well I most likely wasn't going to eat it anyway. I made two last night, overestimating my hunger and ended up eating one in my bed while watching 30 Rock and drinking red wine."
He then gives me this look, it's very quick, almost like he's trying to visualize me doing this. This amusement comes over his face and a quick burst of laughter escapes his mouth and he sputters.
"Oh my god..............Will you marry me?"

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