I'm photographing a children's race when suddenly a class of five year olds burst in the room chased by a flock of penguins. They proceeded to rehearse a choreographed dance then played patty cake and built castles with play doh.
I also have a waking dream (where I'm awake but not quite all the way) where an extension cord transforms into a sixteen foot snake and chases me. Later that day while watching The Walking Dead there is a commercial with a large reticulated python slithering all over a woman trying to sell juice, it is the only point during the night I close my eyes.
Amongst a leftover feast my mom and Rachel's mom place out I take a scoop of potato salad and place it on my plate. My mothers eyes turn into little black beads her brow raises quizzically and she says, "Wait, you hate mayonnaise. Since when have you eaten potato salad?" I look at her and quietly take a bite of the concoction, her head proceeds to explode and little bits of her brain land on my plate. Well I DID like potato salad (I bet you did too).
While Rachel's fiancee Steve plays a Wii hunting game I say: "Where is the sport in hunting a squirrel? That's like a senior in high school beating up someone in kindergarten."
Me (in basement): MOM! Do you know where my Dragonlance books went?
Steve: WHAT? Kyle next you'll be looking for your Magic cards.
Me (still in basement): No, I already looked for those. Can't find them anywhere-
Rachel: What was it I said to you at City Walk?
Me: "You're going to need to learn to tolerate men if you ever want to get one?"
Rachel: Yeah! Because this guy comes over to us; and Kyle can never hide her judgement on her face.
Me: That guy called me a triple lesbian.
Rachel: She looks over her glasses at people, yeah, like she's doing to me right now, she raises her eyebrow and looks at people like that.
OH MY GOD I DO NOT.
but that guy was a drunky drunk drunk.
And all he talked about was how he was in a band and was going to be drummer for The Black Keys and how he was from Massachusetts. For an hour. Over and over and over again.
After getting home from moms, all I want to do is put on flannels but Casey tempts me out with The Walking Dead on a movie screen. As we enter and sit:
Patrick: Everyone, fellow nerds Casey and Kyle.
Casey: Wow. You just came out and said it.
Patrick: What, did you think you were fooling anyone when you walked in here?
During the second commercial break a Dr. Joyce Brothers commercial for life alert comes on and Casey shouts: "AIM FOR THE HEAD!" I silently giggle throughout the rest of the episode.
To be fair, she does look terrifying.