To complete annual training we held a large potluck with lots and lots of carbs. I brought cheese, others made chili, pulled chicken, veggie pizza; all delightful food. Our newest director got a Crave Case from White Castle. One of my co-workers Chris, is a huge White Castle fan. He insisted everyone try a slider. I have never eaten White Castle sliders, I prefer not to shit blood.
My buddy Joe for reasons he can't explain, ate two. After some playful goading and sneaking a third in front of him I admitted to never trying one, from here a challenge was proposed, at first I outright refused but then said if they caught it on camera I'd do it. I thought I had set up a fail proof system. We usually film things on Flip Cams and I knew there were no Flip Cams available that day. Then Nick, my fucking roommate Nick, slyly holds up his shiny new camera stating, "My camera has a film setting." No looking back now. Wait, why are we suddenly eating two of them and supposedly racing?
I can't even begin to describe how awful these things are. There isn't a single redeeming factor to these satanic substitutes for food. I try to fake myself out by eating quickly. It only makes me want to vomit more. I try to think I'm eating amazing sushi, doesn't work either. Toward the end of the second one I shove it all in at once, hoping to just get it over with. I begin to dry heave but I can't possibly stop, a little voice in the back of my head says, "You can do it Kyle, be a champ, a disgusting champ. Everyone's watching, to see what you will do." (Yes I did just quote Loverboy)
I finish. I celebrate with a resounding, "FUCK YEAH!" then I promptly fall into the fetal position for about 10 minutes.
The greatest gift of all is it was caught on film.