Kaitlin Olson

Sometimes I fall asleep hoping for amazing dreams. Like I'm living in a Van Gogh world or sailing on an ocean of pebbles. I try to clear my mind before I drift off or I read something fantastical beforehand, hoping it will persuade my subconscious.

Tonight, up until the end, my dreams were incredibly pedestrian. Filling my car with gas, performing housework, driving around and the like. It didn't help that there is some terrible smell permeating through my open window that woke me several times tonight. I should have just closed my windows but this taste of fall weather makes me reckless.

Then for some horrible reason I am buying a meat sandwich. Not just pastrami and sausage and all that horrid shit but it also had some awful spam filling sitting across the crest of the loaf like a lifeless phallus. If I could smell in dreams I'm sure it would smell terrible. Then it happens, as I'm walking out of the shop I see the thing I want to be dreaming about, just sitting there. It sees me and smiles, asking quietly if I'm going to stay this time. I do. I feel embarrassment, being caught with such an awful sandwich but still I sit, on the precipice of excitement. It starts to tell me a story but then I awake. Fuck you, brain.

Although I am glad in retrospect I woke up because I am now having a mild asthma attack and have no medicine to speak of. Now I'm scared to fall back asleep for fear I might die.

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